Acceptance – College decision


Funny right guys? You remember earlier when I wrote two blogs about getting rejected and all moody and sad? Well, today God decided it’s time to cheer me up. I don’t know what to say, but I am so happy and I am filled with joy!

I applied to New York University (NYU) and I finally got accepted. I haven’t gotten any notification with the Financial Aids yet, but I hope I will get a great sum of money to lessen the burden on my parents. I don’t know if I will end up attending NYU, because it is known for its high cost! But I am excited about my journey and what is going to lie in front of me! I want to thank God so much for reading my letters, although I hope I will get accepted other universities and McGill, so my parents have less financial burden on their shoulders.

Thank you all for your mental support. I can’t stress that enough. I love my teachers, and everyone who has helped me with the college application. I woke up today this morning thinking I will probably get rejected, but it came with a surprise.


God, if you are reading this, I hope you will help me get a higher sum of financial aid. My family really needs it. If not, I wish I could get accepted into other universities I applied to, including the Canadian colleges. I am not asking for more, I just want to reduce the financial burden on my parents. The other universities I applied to cost less! But either way, thank you for helping me and deciding my future path.

I love you all! See you later!! Stay positive šŸ˜€


Yours truly



College Rejection – (2)

Stanford is my last hope

Today I got another decision update from Emory University. Sadly, it’s another rejection, as I have expected.

I really don’t know what acceptances feel like. I was reading College Confidential, with people crying out that they got rejected to every single college they have applied to. The truth is, they didn’t really get rejected to all colleges, because they always have one that decide to accept them.

Early this December, my teacher predicted one thing, that I will end up having no college acceptance. I asked her why, she said because mostly international students do not get in unless they have something special, like very high SAT scores, with hooks. A friend of mine is an American and study in the same high school as mine. My school ranks first in my hometown. We have the hardest syllabus academically. He got lower academic rankings and grades, but he got accepted to University of Chicago, because his parents are both alumni, and he is an American.

US is the only place that I want to go, because of one thing, I want to set foot in the US and start building my new life there. I am a homosexual, and I know many other places do not accept people who they truly are. My second option is to go to Australia, because it is easier for immigration. However, what I am concerned the most is the fact that gay marriage is not allowed in Australia, simply speaking, I can never be the real me. I have not come out of the closet, and I was going to do that once I am in the US.

I applied to safeties, and reaches.


I got rejected from all 9 colleges, and still waiting for decision from 4. Two of them are Stanford University and Georgetown University, in which I know I won’t be able to get in. So basically, before the official decision update, I already know I am not making it to the US.

I can’t believe this is happening to me. I don’t really know what to do with my future now. I just want to feel once the happiness of reading an acceptance letter. I got looked down upon by my teacher, and now I can do nothing but to simply admit that she was right about me. I prayed hard every day to God, just to simply wish that He would listen to me once and help me out with the US colleges, but He never replied.

I don’t know if God will ever be there for me again. There is one thing I know for sure, which is that God is not a person who I just pray for to get my wish granted true, but for this once, I really need His help. If there is true miracle in the world, then I hope miracle does happen to the remaining four colleges.

I worked really hard to get to where I am today. Just because colleges are stupid enough to think that Bs and Cs are bad, that doesn’t mean that kind of mentality can be applied to all international applicants. In my school, I ranked top 10 even with a C on that subject. A friend of mine who ranked 150/250 in form got an easy 4.0 GPA in the US. He said he neverĀ studied, and still he got a perfect GPA score. The admission process is just horrible. I don’t know what to wish anymore guys. Sorry for being so negative today, but I couldn’t take it any longer.



Is GPA fair?


Hey guys, so apparently, if you have followed my blog for quite a while, you should know that I am trying to apply to US colleges as an international applicant. Recently, I discovered something shocking for me, the GPA recalculation in US colleges.

My birthplace has no such thing as GPA in high school, but we do in Universities. In high school, we only have A, B, C, D, E, and F as our grading system. Since my school ranks first in my birthplace, we have the hardest exam papers. So we our score range for A is 70-100, 65-69 for B, 59-64 C, and so on and so forth until you get below 40, which is an F. We do not have such thing as A+ or A-. You either get an A, or you don’t. If the US colleges use our standard’s grading system to recalculate our GDP, we are basically below average, but don’t forget the point that we have the hardest papers in my birthplace. I rank 20/252 in form, and 3/41 in class. I got a C in Chemistry, but in the SATII Chemistry , I got a 710 without studying, so you can tell the difference in the level of difficulty.

If the colleges do make sense, I am pretty sure that they won’t take my grades into recalculation and forcefully give me a false GPA. Yet, this is the only thing that bothers me a lot. When I look at my US friends who study Chemistry, they got As in their transcripts. I looked at their Chemistry paper and it is easy as heck, while our papers are mostly out of syllabus. I wonder if the US colleges will realise that point, rather than just kick me out for getting a C in Chemistry. You might think getting such a broad range for an A (70-100)Ā means we should all get an A easily, this isn’t the case. Only a few out of 252 in my form can get an A in the core and elective subjects. This is what makes our school famous internationally and 1st in my hometown.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to SAT scores. But I don’t know if any other high schools in the US also face the same problem? Like they don’t have an exact GPA? Or they have a similar grading system like ours?

That’s the only thing that is bothering me a lot for my collegeĀ acceptances. I hope the colleges I applied to will see this problem and not cut me off because of their misunderstanding.

Dear God, if you could read this, I hope you would help me out with the college acceptances. I just really wish I could feel the happiness of getting into one US college. Just one acceptance, it would bring me happiness for the rest of my life. Thank you.

PS. I got rejected to University of Richmond, and I want to remind you all NOT to apply to that college. That college is a huge greed. It only wants money. It literally asked me to pay 70K in order to get accepted. If you applied for financial aid to that college, prepare to get 0 financial aid. I know fund is what most private colleges want, but to give out acceptances according to financial affordability rather than one’s academic ability, that college is nowhere near to be called a college. So just a reminder for you all before you fall into the trap of applying and wasting your 70USD application fee.

Expectation =/= Reality? Disappointment much…


Hi guys, have you ever felt so disappointed in your life. Like when you have high expectations on something, but you just don’t end up reaching or achieving that goal?

I anticipated and expected myself to study overseas, but until now, no colleges seem to have decided to give me an acceptance letter. My sadness has influenced my family members, and even my parents are trying to figure out how they can try to make me feel better.

Have you ever had that kind of feeling? Hopelessness, helplessness, and ashamed? Most of my friends and teachers expected to end up getting into colleges overseas, but this time I feel like the colleges are proving them wrong. I personally wish to have my future career somewhere overseas, and live my life as a permanent resident there. I don’t like my hometown much, because of economic, social, and political chaos. Everytime I have to anticipate myself getting stuck here in this place to further my study, it makes me stressful.

There is this saying I have heard long time ago, the more you crave for something, the more you will lose it.Ā I don’t know if I can take it when my friends realise I am failing in all colleges with good grades. Even my used-to-be favorite teacher thinks that I am incapable of getting into colleges overseas, what should I do? I guess for now, I can only pray to God and wish that He would help me find my path again.

If you are facing the same problem as I am, here is a small piece of personal poem from Angie, which might help you out too šŸ˜€ Believe in God and have faith in Him. He will always be there for you! Don’t give up! Continue to have hope!

God, grant me the strength to handle life’s challenges,
In order to overcome these life long obstacles.
God, grant me the courage to stand up for what I believe in,
In order to express my true opinions without fear.
God, grant me the answers to my questions,
In order to find some understanding.
God, grant me the piece of mind I so desperately need,
In order to remain sane in this inside universe.
God, grant me the patience I thought I once had,
In order to with stand everything thrown to me.
God, grant me the guidance to be able to succeed,
In order to be whatever it is I want to be.
God, I need you now and forever, please help me.

– A personal prayer from Angie.

Youtube – Did it right or did it wrong?


Earlier this week,Ā the commonly used social media platform has added a new feature into user’s setting – The restricted mode.

The restricted mode acts primarily as a way to filter out all those abusive, and sensitive videos that may affect children’s mental development. However, a huge social media protest has sparked out by this sudden change in action by Youtube. #YoutubeIsOver has been trending Number One on Twitter on the day of the modification. Users, especially LGBTQ members, have reportedly claimed that Youtube primarily targets themĀ instead, leaving many posting pictures of themselves deleting the Youtube app on their phone, threatening Youtube’sĀ future popularity.

Most videos and channels including Youtubers who have come out of the closet (Tyler Oakley) are nowhere to be seen in the restrictive mode in Youtube. They are not removed, but rather hidden and filtered out. Famous singers like Lady Gaga who announced her bisexuality when she dropped the LGBT anthem “Born This Way” got her channel covered up by this new function. Her recent smash hit “Million Reasons”, which has nothing to do with LGBT, also got filtered out.Ā People started wondering if Youtube is going against the LGBT community. Some argue that the act of coming out of the closet is nothing sensitive to children, instead it is an opportunity for children to find out about their sexual orientation sooner. Others have supported this filtering option, stating that it prevents young children from learning too much about the ‘abnormal’ sexual behavior.

Although Youtube has made a statement on the next day to tell the LGBT community that it has nothing to do with targeting the gays, many find it insincere enough, requesting for an official apology and actions on taking down this new function.

I personally do not support this filter mode. Most videos like animals being abused can still be found online. While sexual contents should beĀ removed to prevent children from coming in contact with them, two gays talking normally about social issues on Youtube should not be restricted or deemed inappropriate. Most conservatives have blamed the liberals for ‘making something out of nothing’, but the liberals have pointed fingers and fired shots towards the racists and homophobic twitter users for leaving comments like #lgbtisuseless.

So is Youtube still a LGBT-friendly platform for every one? At least we know it has been sinceĀ the Orlando incident.

So did Youtube do it right or do it wrong? What do you think? Leave a comment below to express your view!

For more information, check out my blog coming up tomorrow!


The Originals is back!


I am a huge supernatural fan! I’ve always asked myself this question, what would I be if the supernatural did exist. I can’t say for sure that “NO! Supernatural does not exist!” If you believe that they do appear in this world, they keep on believing!

I myself love to become a witch, partly because of their magical power and mysteriousness. Mostly, because of the TV show The Originals! I am a huge fan of this fan, followed by The Vampire Diaries (goodbye to the show! I will miss you :D). My bedroom walls are covered with The Originals’ (TO) photoshoot and wallpaper.

Yesterday, TO premiered its fourth season, with the amazing return of Hayley Marshall, Elijah Mikaelson (my favorite), Klaus Mikaelson and Freya Mikaelson. There are two more Mikaelsons left asleep and unseen, but I am positive that we will see them soon in the upcoming episodes. In the first episode, the executive producer has already shown us the significant magical power Freya Mikaelson has as she performed a ritual to wake up all of her siblings. Albeit the fighting scenes only lasted for ten minutes approximately, but just the scene of Freya performing the ritual has already got me all excited for more! So now you see that’s why I would prefer being a witch than a vampire/werewlolf hybrid.

If you love watching The Vampire Diaries (TVD) and has never watched or heard of The Originals, it is basically a TV show about the first generation of vampires protecting their own family while in the others’ eyes, they are bringing chaos and danger to the city. They remain a threat to the supernatural order and life. So give it a shot! It contains romance, fights, and “Hope” (see what I did there? i.e. Hope, a trihybrid, is the name of the Mikaelson’s baby)

Yesterday’s episode is 10/10. I wonder what do you guys think about TO? Or do you think TVD is still better than TO?

P.S. I wish Caroline would appear in TO #Klaroline all the way!

Born This Way (Lady Gaga)


You guessed it wrong. This isn’t a post about how lyrical Lady Gaga’s BTW is, but rather, how relatable it is to me.

I couldn’t figure out my sexual orientations when I was small. But somehow, I could feel a strong attraction to boys. At first, I thought every one experiences this, because I read an article talking about how every one is born to be gay. It’s true. Every one is gay, because we all have both men and women hormone, which explains a lot why some men act girly as you say, because their body is controlled by mostly female hormones. Simply speaking, the female hormones dominate the male hormones. If men didn’t have female hormones, they would hate each other. When I say hate, I mean real hate, like predators and preys that kind of hate.

Lady Gaga has always been my idol and hero. She made me proud of who I truly am, especially after she came out of the closet and announcedĀ bisexuality. There is nothing to be afraid of.

Born This Way is like my personal anthem. One of the lyrics shocked me the most is, “No matter gay straight or bi, lesbian transgendered life, I’m on the right track baby I was born to survive.” She is right. We actually have to survive in the society, and it isn’t an easy thing. The society is full of all kinds of people. We have people who hate (homophobias) gays, or in other words, they aren’t as acceptable to others as we expect them to be. I have not come out of the closet yet, but I kind of feel tired hiding my true nature.

I have a friend who is a Catholic. I have actually always wanted to become a Catholic, because I could feel more closer to HIM. But then I realise, I do not need any religion to secure my faith or my connection to God, because as the Catholic says, as long as you have faith and believe in God’s existence, He is always there to protect you and be by your side.

Studying in a boy school, I have a hard time to be myself. Everyday, I meet my schoolmates who look extremely attractive to me. Whenever they act or talk to me, I will feel nervous and embarrassed. But being embarrassed is actually what made me embarrassed. I can never act normal and free in front of them, because I do not want them to figure out who I truly am. A weirdo, and stalking freak. Or what some people call, a monster.

“I’m beautiful in way, cause God makes no mistakes.” I once believed truly that being homosexual is a sin, and that’s the punishment God gave us for being sinners or doing something wrong in the past life. But Lady Gaga’s lyrics changed me. She encouraged me to confront the ideology from the society, and be the change that I want to be.

“A different lover is not a sin, believe HIM.” God created us human kinds, and we all believe that His creations areĀ beautiful. Beautiful because we are not perfect, but unique. No one is flawless. We each have our own flaws. That’s what makes us special.

That’s why I have adored the United States of America so much. The freedom and democracy people have there are so much more than what we have. To see a lot of Americans find their true love made me so eager to live my life there. But again, the first thing I have to go through is college. That is the first thing I have to trust God with.

“Don’t let yourself have regret, just love yourself and you’re set.”

Lady Gaga, you are my hero and source of inspiration. I love you forever and ever.

Thank you.

Little Monster xoxo



College Decision – Rejection

College rejection.jpeg

Hi guys, last time I wrote about getting excited and all hyped up about college decisions. Well, one of the colleges I have applied to have decided to send me a rejection letter! Straight through the email! Just an hour ago!

I applied to University of Washington in the Seattle campus. I expected myself to get accepted due to my higher-than-average SAT score. Unfortunately, I did not.

The first question that comes into my mind is, “What does it feel like getting accepted into college you applied for?” I have never felt this feeling, and I saw those others who got accepted were so happy. It’s irking me pretty much, but as Michael Jackson said, “Keep The Faith.”

I was looking at the College Confidential, and I saw a lot of stressed out applicants. They were either mad, or depressed. Both because of getting rejected, waitlisted, or deferred. Some waited for so long, and they just couldn’t handle the stress of waiting a few more weeks. The majority of them lost faith. Am I losing faith? Slightly, but I know God is watching and protecting me šŸ˜€ I can only keep telling myself that the better is yet to come and God is always listening to my prayers. This is just one minor challenge He wants me to encounter.

There are still a couple more colleges I am waiting to get a decision from. If God is listening or seeing this here, there is only one thing I want to say. “I don’t cherish anything or more, but I only wish that you would stand by my side, and hear my prayer. That’s the only thing I would like to ask for. About the colleges? I mentioned them in my prayers :D”

I believe that there is one different God within us. I always get the feeling that there is one customised God looking after us. No matter what your religion is, or whether you believe in God or not, I would like to wish you all a GOOD LUCK! šŸ˜€ šŸ˜€

The countdown has now begun. There are still two more weeks before the final decisions are released. All I can say now is, please help me, God!

Love you all! Good Luck!


TV shows’ development – Teen Wolf!!

Teen Wolf

For some reason, I started getting hyped up about watching teen wolf. To be honest, I am kind of shocked about how the tv shows have developed and changed. At the same time, I am so happy to see how the great TV shows have included homosexual characters, because it made me feel more real about who I truly am. I haven’t come out of the closet, and I do not wish to let anybody find out. That’s why I have been blogging anonymously, as a way for me to express myself to everybody at the same time.

TV shows like Teen Wolf, The Shadowhunters, The Vampire Diaries have all included homosexual characters. I could see how many actors have come out of the closet after getting a role with the character being gay. Colton Haynes, and Charlie Carver for example.

While I am hugely satisfied with the TV show characters (especially their intimate scenes *wink wink*), I am kind of disappointed with the plot of Teen Wolf. I started watching last week, and I am now already at Season 4. It is a huge bump for me to see 7 casts so far (finger crossed) to leave the show, and I am talking about main casts like Crystal Reed, Tyler Hoechlin, Colton Haynes and the Carver twins. (I like exes Crystal Reed (Allison) and Daniel Sharman (Issac) the most. They are literally the sweetest TV couples I have ever met.)

After Nina Dobrev left the Vampire Diaries, the show pretty much ended up dead with Season 7. I am not sure about the future of Teen Wolf either. It has now become too hard for me to continue watching Teen Wolf, as I fear that more casts will leave, especially the ones that I love deeply.

Anyways, I anticipate Teen Wolf to end before it reaches its 8th season. I know that Dylan O’Brien got into an accident last year? Well, all I can say is have a speedy recovery!! Looking forward to the new casts in Teen Wolf. Do tell me what you think about the TV show!

Graduation Trip – South Korea HELP!

Gyeongbokgung Palace
The Gyeongbokgung Palace!
N Seoul Tower
The N Seoul Tower!

Since I am about to take this public examination, my friends and I were planning about organising a graduation trip, which works kinda like a celebration trip. We are still wondering where to go… Do you guys have any suggestions?

We primarily decided to go to Korea. I have never been to Korea, so I don’t really know much about the things to do there. I was doing some research online and I came across this site called “N Seoul Tower”. Do guys have any idea on what that is about, and what we can do there? It seems like it’s all about the views, and cuisines.

There is this other place I did some research on, which is called the “Gyeongbokgung Palace.” It says it’s a 14th century royal palace, which is a museum now.

One last thing, how do you usually communicate in South Korea? Do you just speak English? Is there any other Korean tips you can provide me with? Anything would be great! Especially if you have been to South Korea before, it’ll be awesome to have your little advice. Every little help counts!

Opening up to some new suggestions here for our itinerary! Thanks fellow bloggers!!