Expectation =/= Reality? Disappointment much…

Disappointment

Hi guys, have you ever felt so disappointed in your life. Like when you have high expectations on something, but you just don’t end up reaching or achieving that goal?

I anticipated and expected myself to study overseas, but until now, no colleges seem to have decided to give me an acceptance letter. My sadness has influenced my family members, and even my parents are trying to figure out how they can try to make me feel better.

Have you ever had that kind of feeling? Hopelessness, helplessness, and ashamed? Most of my friends and teachers expected to end up getting into colleges overseas, but this time I feel like the colleges are proving them wrong. I personally wish to have my future career somewhere overseas, and live my life as a permanent resident there. I don’t like my hometown much, because of economic, social, and political chaos. Everytime I have to anticipate myself getting stuck here in this place to further my study, it makes me stressful.

There is this saying I have heard long time ago, the more you crave for something, the more you will lose it.Ā I don’t know if I can take it when my friends realise I am failing in all colleges with good grades. Even my used-to-be favorite teacher thinks that I am incapable of getting into colleges overseas, what should I do? I guess for now, I can only pray to God and wish that He would help me find my path again.

If you are facing the same problem as I am, here is a small piece of personal poem from Angie, which might help you out too šŸ˜€ Believe in God and have faith in Him. He will always be there for you! Don’t give up! Continue to have hope!

God, grant me the strength to handle life’s challenges,
In order to overcome these life long obstacles.
God, grant me the courage to stand up for what I believe in,
In order to express my true opinions without fear.
God, grant me the answers to my questions,
In order to find some understanding.
God, grant me the piece of mind I so desperately need,
In order to remain sane in this inside universe.
God, grant me the patience I thought I once had,
In order to with stand everything thrown to me.
God, grant me the guidance to be able to succeed,
In order to be whatever it is I want to be.
God, I need you now and forever, please help me.

– A personal prayer from Angie.

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Youtube – Did it right or did it wrong?

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Earlier this week,Ā the commonly used social media platform has added a new feature into user’s setting – The restricted mode.

The restricted mode acts primarily as a way to filter out all those abusive, and sensitive videos that may affect children’s mental development. However, a huge social media protest has sparked out by this sudden change in action by Youtube. #YoutubeIsOver has been trending Number One on Twitter on the day of the modification. Users, especially LGBTQ members, have reportedly claimed that Youtube primarily targets themĀ instead, leaving many posting pictures of themselves deleting the Youtube app on their phone, threatening Youtube’sĀ future popularity.

Most videos and channels including Youtubers who have come out of the closet (Tyler Oakley) are nowhere to be seen in the restrictive mode in Youtube. They are not removed, but rather hidden and filtered out. Famous singers like Lady Gaga who announced her bisexuality when she dropped the LGBT anthem “Born This Way” got her channel covered up by this new function. Her recent smash hit “Million Reasons”, which has nothing to do with LGBT, also got filtered out.Ā People started wondering if Youtube is going against the LGBT community. Some argue that the act of coming out of the closet is nothing sensitive to children, instead it is an opportunity for children to find out about their sexual orientation sooner. Others have supported this filtering option, stating that it prevents young children from learning too much about the ‘abnormal’ sexual behavior.

Although Youtube has made a statement on the next day to tell the LGBT community that it has nothing to do with targeting the gays, many find it insincere enough, requesting for an official apology and actions on taking down this new function.

I personally do not support this filter mode. Most videos like animals being abused can still be found online. While sexual contents should beĀ removed to prevent children from coming in contact with them, two gays talking normally about social issues on Youtube should not be restricted or deemed inappropriate. Most conservatives have blamed the liberals for ‘making something out of nothing’, but the liberals have pointed fingers and fired shots towards the racists and homophobic twitter users for leaving comments like #lgbtisuseless.

So is Youtube still a LGBT-friendly platform for every one? At least we know it has been sinceĀ the Orlando incident.

So did Youtube do it right or do it wrong? What do you think? Leave a comment below to express your view!

For more information, check out my blog coming up tomorrow!

 

The Originals is back!

TO

I am a huge supernatural fan! I’ve always asked myself this question, what would I be if the supernatural did exist. I can’t say for sure that “NO! Supernatural does not exist!” If you believe that they do appear in this world, they keep on believing!

I myself love to become a witch, partly because of their magical power and mysteriousness. Mostly, because of the TV show The Originals! I am a huge fan of this fan, followed by The Vampire Diaries (goodbye to the show! I will miss you :D). My bedroom walls are covered with The Originals’ (TO) photoshoot and wallpaper.

Yesterday, TO premiered its fourth season, with the amazing return of Hayley Marshall, Elijah Mikaelson (my favorite), Klaus Mikaelson and Freya Mikaelson. There are two more Mikaelsons left asleep and unseen, but I am positive that we will see them soon in the upcoming episodes. In the first episode, the executive producer has already shown us the significant magical power Freya Mikaelson has as she performed a ritual to wake up all of her siblings. Albeit the fighting scenes only lasted for ten minutes approximately, but just the scene of Freya performing the ritual has already got me all excited for more! So now you see that’s why I would prefer being a witch than a vampire/werewlolf hybrid.

If you love watching The Vampire Diaries (TVD) and has never watched or heard of The Originals, it is basically a TV show about the first generation of vampires protecting their own family while in the others’ eyes, they are bringing chaos and danger to the city. They remain a threat to the supernatural order and life. So give it a shot! It contains romance, fights, and “Hope” (see what I did there? i.e. Hope, a trihybrid, is the name of the Mikaelson’s baby)

Yesterday’s episode is 10/10. I wonder what do you guys think about TO? Or do you think TVD is still better than TO?

P.S. I wish Caroline would appear in TO #Klaroline all the way!

Born This Way (Lady Gaga)

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You guessed it wrong. This isn’t a post about how lyrical Lady Gaga’s BTW is, but rather, how relatable it is to me.

I couldn’t figure out my sexual orientations when I was small. But somehow, I could feel a strong attraction to boys. At first, I thought every one experiences this, because I read an article talking about how every one is born to be gay. It’s true. Every one is gay, because we all have both men and women hormone, which explains a lot why some men act girly as you say, because their body is controlled by mostly female hormones. Simply speaking, the female hormones dominate the male hormones. If men didn’t have female hormones, they would hate each other. When I say hate, I mean real hate, like predators and preys that kind of hate.

Lady Gaga has always been my idol and hero. She made me proud of who I truly am, especially after she came out of the closet and announcedĀ bisexuality. There is nothing to be afraid of.

Born This Way is like my personal anthem. One of the lyrics shocked me the most is, “No matter gay straight or bi, lesbian transgendered life, I’m on the right track baby I was born to survive.” She is right. We actually have to survive in the society, and it isn’t an easy thing. The society is full of all kinds of people. We have people who hate (homophobias) gays, or in other words, they aren’t as acceptable to others as we expect them to be. I have not come out of the closet yet, but I kind of feel tired hiding my true nature.

I have a friend who is a Catholic. I have actually always wanted to become a Catholic, because I could feel more closer to HIM. But then I realise, I do not need any religion to secure my faith or my connection to God, because as the Catholic says, as long as you have faith and believe in God’s existence, He is always there to protect you and be by your side.

Studying in a boy school, I have a hard time to be myself. Everyday, I meet my schoolmates who look extremely attractive to me. Whenever they act or talk to me, I will feel nervous and embarrassed. But being embarrassed is actually what made me embarrassed. I can never act normal and free in front of them, because I do not want them to figure out who I truly am. A weirdo, and stalking freak. Or what some people call, a monster.

“I’m beautiful in way, cause God makes no mistakes.” I once believed truly that being homosexual is a sin, and that’s the punishment God gave us for being sinners or doing something wrong in the past life. But Lady Gaga’s lyrics changed me. She encouraged me to confront the ideology from the society, and be the change that I want to be.

“A different lover is not a sin, believe HIM.” God created us human kinds, and we all believe that His creations areĀ beautiful. Beautiful because we are not perfect, but unique. No one is flawless. We each have our own flaws. That’s what makes us special.

That’s why I have adored the United States of America so much. The freedom and democracy people have there are so much more than what we have. To see a lot of Americans find their true love made me so eager to live my life there. But again, the first thing I have to go through is college. That is the first thing I have to trust God with.

“Don’t let yourself have regret, just love yourself and you’re set.”

Lady Gaga, you are my hero and source of inspiration. I love you forever and ever.

Thank you.

Little Monster xoxo

 

 

College Decision – Rejection

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Hi guys, last time I wrote about getting excited and all hyped up about college decisions. Well, one of the colleges I have applied to have decided to send me a rejection letter! Straight through the email! Just an hour ago!

I applied to University of Washington in the Seattle campus. I expected myself to get accepted due to my higher-than-average SAT score. Unfortunately, I did not.

The first question that comes into my mind is, “What does it feel like getting accepted into college you applied for?” I have never felt this feeling, and I saw those others who got accepted were so happy. It’s irking me pretty much, but as Michael Jackson said, “Keep The Faith.”

I was looking at the College Confidential, and I saw a lot of stressed out applicants. They were either mad, or depressed. Both because of getting rejected, waitlisted, or deferred. Some waited for so long, and they just couldn’t handle the stress of waiting a few more weeks. The majority of them lost faith. Am I losing faith? Slightly, but I know God is watching and protecting me šŸ˜€ I can only keep telling myself that the better is yet to come and God is always listening to my prayers. This is just one minor challenge He wants me to encounter.

There are still a couple more colleges I am waiting to get a decision from. If God is listening or seeing this here, there is only one thing I want to say. “I don’t cherish anything or more, but I only wish that you would stand by my side, and hear my prayer. That’s the only thing I would like to ask for. About the colleges? I mentioned them in my prayers :D”

I believe that there is one different God within us. I always get the feeling that there is one customised God looking after us. No matter what your religion is, or whether you believe in God or not, I would like to wish you all a GOOD LUCK! šŸ˜€ šŸ˜€

The countdown has now begun. There are still two more weeks before the final decisions are released. All I can say now is, please help me, God!

Love you all! Good Luck!

 

TV shows’ development – Teen Wolf!!

Teen Wolf

For some reason, I started getting hyped up about watching teen wolf. To be honest, I am kind of shocked about how the tv shows have developed and changed. At the same time, I am so happy to see how the great TV shows have included homosexual characters, because it made me feel more real about who I truly am. I haven’t come out of the closet, and I do not wish to let anybody find out. That’s why I have been blogging anonymously, as a way for me to express myself to everybody at the same time.

TV shows like Teen Wolf, The Shadowhunters, The Vampire Diaries have all included homosexual characters. I could see how many actors have come out of the closet after getting a role with the character being gay. Colton Haynes, and Charlie Carver for example.

While I am hugely satisfied with the TV show characters (especially their intimate scenes *wink wink*), I am kind of disappointed with the plot of Teen Wolf. I started watching last week, and I am now already at Season 4. It is a huge bump for me to see 7 casts so far (finger crossed) to leave the show, and I am talking about main casts like Crystal Reed, Tyler Hoechlin, Colton Haynes and the Carver twins. (I like exes Crystal Reed (Allison) and Daniel Sharman (Issac) the most. They are literally the sweetest TV couples I have ever met.)

After Nina Dobrev left the Vampire Diaries, the show pretty much ended up dead with Season 7. I am not sure about the future of Teen Wolf either. It has now become too hard for me to continue watching Teen Wolf, as I fear that more casts will leave, especially the ones that I love deeply.

Anyways, I anticipate Teen Wolf to end before it reaches its 8th season. I know that Dylan O’Brien got into an accident last year? Well, all I can say is have a speedy recovery!! Looking forward to the new casts in Teen Wolf. Do tell me what you think about the TV show!

Graduation Trip – South Korea HELP!

Gyeongbokgung Palace
The Gyeongbokgung Palace!
N Seoul Tower
The N Seoul Tower!

Since I am about to take this public examination, my friends and I were planning about organising a graduation trip, which works kinda like a celebration trip. We are still wondering where to go… Do you guys have any suggestions?

We primarily decided to go to Korea. I have never been to Korea, so I don’t really know much about the things to do there. I was doing some research online and I came across this site called “N Seoul Tower”. Do guys have any idea on what that is about, and what we can do there? It seems like it’s all about the views, and cuisines.

There is this other place I did some research on, which is called the “Gyeongbokgung Palace.” It says it’s a 14th century royal palace, which is a museum now.

One last thing, how do you usually communicate in South Korea? Do you just speak English? Is there any other Korean tips you can provide me with? Anything would be great! Especially if you have been to South Korea before, it’ll be awesome to have your little advice. Every little help counts!

Opening up to some new suggestions here for our itinerary! Thanks fellow bloggers!!

Best friend becoming a GEEK!

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Today, I was doing something that we all normally do – texting. While I was texting this really good friend of mine, I suddenly got a vibe that he is kind of a geek. He doesn’t look geeky, but when you realize most of the time the message contents are about academics, you feel kinda screwed. Well at least that’s how I felt.

I wonder, are those people the true friends that I want? Or were we really close friends at first but the changes in the society result in changes between our friendship? I guess that sounds a bit complicated for most of you haha! Well, all things that end with -ship are complicated, like relationships.

A public exam is about to start in April, and all of my ‘friends’, including my besties are going full berserk mode, studying 24/7. When I received a ‘ding’ on my phone, the text messages are all about chemistry, biology, and math! Then a few seconds later, you started getting bombarded with snaps (from Snapchat) of them working on the past papers multiple choice questions along with their scores written on the top right hand corner of the paper. Everytime, he gets a 3X/36, and he’ll be like ‘dang it, what if this careless mistake happens again in the real exam.’ You know? That kind of stress he makes you feel? Meanwhile, I am watching Teen Wolf, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory.

Am I lazy? I think not, it’s just I have finished all the past papers and I felt like it’s time for me to relax and chill. But under the environment when your friends just can’t stop keeping their things to themselves and started stressing you out unintentionally, it’s kinda annoying. Yet, they are still great friends of mine.

Do you guys also encounter this same situation? Like after a long period of time, you started realizing your friend is a geek, or is becoming one? Does it affect your friendship much then?

The Vampire Diaries Finale :(

TVDGuys, I can’t believe the Vampire Diaries’s finale just ended yesterday. Team Stelena all the way!!!!!!!!!!!

I have grown up watching the vampire diaries, from middle school to high school, and now, almost college. Within all these 8 years, the vampire diaries remained a huge mystery to me, which is whether the supernatural things actually exist in the reality world, for example, vampires like the Salvatore brothers, witches like the Bennett family, and werewolves like the Lockwoods. I guess it would be pretty fun to be a Bennett witch, especially with all the connections to the ancestors, and magical powers.

SPOILERS ALERT: I am team Stelena all the way, but to be honest, it’s so unfair to what Stefan had to face and suffer in the finale. Stefan deserved better like what all the others said in Twitter. Perhaps Julie Plec, the executive producer, thinks that it will all end merrier with this plot.

Yet I always have this question in my mind, if Nina Dobrev (the one who plays Elena Gilbert) hadn’t left the vampire diaries along with Steven McQueen (Jeremy Gilbert), would there be another season for the vampire diaries? I am just as sad as all the tvd family out there! All I can say is, I wish to see all the cast members together again in the future, especially my favorite, Paul Wesley šŸ˜€

If you feel sad and terrible, you might want to try watching The Originals! The good news is, I feel like Caroline is probably going to make it to that series. I have watched a few seasons of The Originals and they are awesome (they have a lot of magic fights going on!).

Remember to watch The Originals Season Four premiere on the 17th March, 2017! See you all tvd family! šŸ˜€

Team Stelena all the way!!!! Klaroline will be the future!!! – Plarsise

My Melbourne Music Trip!

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It’s been almost a year since I have went to Melbourne, Australia. As a blogger who often stays at home blogging, it’s pretty hard for me to get my ass up and travel around the world. Within these six high school years, I have been to a lot of places. (When I say a lot, I mean A LOOOOOOT), like France, Taiwan, Shanghai, Australia, and The United States of America.

I still remember the time when I first joined the Chinese Orchestra at my school. I was a kid who’s talented at music (being humble here~), but I have grown up playing the clarinet, never have I ever tried playing Chinese instruments. I joined just for three months and I began representing the school, participating in different orchestral competitions, and capturing thousands of championships/golds.

This Melbourne experience was special and unique in the sense that we actually try to exchange different musical culture around the globe. Look at Melbourne! Nice weather, awesome food, and beautiful scenery, I wonder why I have never thought of studying in Australia. Perhaps I have now!

To those of you who dream of travelling around the world but are hesitating, I hereby tell you go!!! You will learn a lot after those travelling experience. You don’t just learn more cultural-wise, but you also broaden your mind, which helps you a lot in facing different life decisions.

What I missed the most about the trip? I guess the concert, koalas, and kangaroos.

P.S. I was going to take a selfie with a kangaroo but it was about kick my ass with his strong hind legs. That is probably the only regret I have left. Anyways, enjoy the photos I have prepared for you! You should really consider going to Melbourne – A city of food/fashion/literature/animal conservation (you fill that in on your own!)

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. – Lao Tzu